FLICK PICKS

DONNIE DARKO

"A storm is coming, Frank says, a storm that will swallow the children."

OLDBOY

"Even though I'm no more than a monster - don't I, too, have the right to live?"

ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND

"Why do I fall in love with every woman I see who shows me the least bit of attention?"

FIGHT CLUB

"This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time."

BRAZIL

"Don't fight it son. Confess quickly! If you hold out too long you could jeopardize your credit rating."

1/29/2006

THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: THE LION, THE WITCH AND THE WARDROBE by jaiskizzy

through a magical closet, four siblings stumble into the ice-laden realm of narnia, fulfilling the prophecy that 2 sons of adam and 2 daughters of eve will come to aid qui-gon jinn the lion in vanquishing the white witch and put and end to her tyrannical rule. let the fantastic cgi war commence!

when i edited the two-mintue-plus mulawin movie trailer for television last year, the cgi didnt impress me at all. well, maybe the dragon looked good but overall, it bombed, for me anyways. then i read somewhere that exodus was boasting of having more cgi scenes than the lord of the rings. that was enough to tick me off with these darn movies. quality over quantity, you morons, and quality with proper usage. in a hilarious review of mulawin (read here scroll down to lupisan), some dude points out how the dragon never really interacted with the real players (and from the trailer i edited, there was this scene of two kid mulawins flying side by side, their wings overlapping. sheesh). when i saw narnia with layla and my sibs, it only stressed my point that no matter how they say that our film industry has come a long way regarding special effects, we're still eating dust from those who are way ahead. so until they could equal the seamlessness of the narnia griffon alone, they ought to shut the hell up.

kudos in big heaps to the geeks who made aslan come to life, and i mean really come to life. that was the most realistic lion animation ever. and apart from the aforementioned griffon, my favorite would be the cheetahs. in the scenes where they're part of the crowd, they were so human, the best cgi rendition of a curious bystander ive seen. then there's the centaurs which are just plain cool. which brings us to the climactic battle that is basicaclly all of these good things multiplied and mashed together in a ferocious fight frenzy. simply breathtaking. cgi is meant to suspend disbelief. we know it's not there, it's not real, but when the cgi is well-done and well-used, you believe for a moment that it is.

anyways, the sfx aint the only thing that made narnia work. although the kids werent very good actors, they did their roles justice. great performance by tilda swanton, the white witch, who played gabriel in constantine. awesome set designs (the ice statues were "cool") and costumes. ive never read a page of the narnia books, but the story was weaved fine in the movie. it's always good to watch a movie meant for kids and like it as an adult. wish i had a magic wardrobe as well. it should open up to the playboy mansion instead though.

the good: primarily, the special effects. those whol'll be making next pinoy sfx-heavy fantasy movie should learn from this film.
the bad: if the potion that santa claus gave to lucy cured all wounds with a single drop, how come edmund still had one on his lip?
the ugly: the scene where they're walking on a rock bridge formation and they get a nice view of narnia. obviously done with a green screen.
the score: 8 turkish delights.

the skiz.

1/17/2006

HOSTEL by jaiskizzy

two american dudes and their new icelandic buddy travel around europe for some double-b fun: beer and babes (and breasts and butts). they are then lured to a hostel in bratislava where gorgeous, hot, horny women await them. what seems to be a wet dream come true for them (and all men) turns out to be a nightmare underneath when suddenly another b word is added to mix: blood. this, friends, is my kinda movie.

easily made the list of my favorite films i keep inside my head. started off kinda slow, but i didn't mind, thanks to the huge amount of t&a (oh yeah). i mean all of it is vital to the story since these guys are lookin for adventure, and i guess it worked cause a part of me desired to try amsterdam out and immerse myself in the same hedonistic activities (only in your dreams, skiz. you are not single...). anyways, so as tipped by some dude through pictures of him burried under female nakedness, the trio head to bratislava and check into a hostel where they have to share a room with strangers. but these strangers have nice tits and soon they've paired off and testing the bedsprings. next morning, the icelander is missing, supposedly he ran off with a japanese chick. (trivia: this movie has 9 different languages and zero subtitles, and holds the record for the most different languages in an american film without subtitles. cool.) you'll just have watch the film or yourselves to find out what follows next because it's a road staight to spoiler zone. only thing i could say is that all that skin baring level is then surpassed by violence and gore, with finger slicing, open chests, and optic nerve cutting to name a few. real awesome juicy stuff. obviously, this movie is very much a guy flick. but im pretty sure some if not many girl would enjoy it, although probably not as much as us men (espcially me) would. but there is one scene near the very end that most if not all girls would relate to: when the girl sees her reflection in the glass and what she does after that. classic.

the cameo by takashi miike (genuflect), who makes movies like this, was so cool, and made him live right up to his reputation. the endind was perfect, (i almost applauded like the audience in the vcd did, only i was watching it alone) the details of which id rather not discuss to avoid spoiling it, so i'll just say the one word that was plastered in my brain all throughout the ending sequence: punishment.

produced by quentin tarantino and directed by eli roth (great work, guys), this fine fucked-up flick's got more gore than you'll ask for. definitely not for the squeamish. and i hope it stays that way when they release it in our theaters because i will watch it again. a truly superb movie. i completely enjoyed every maniacal moment, every mindfuckin minute, and every sadistic second of it. here's to gore noir(term by harry knowles)!

the good: everything. the nudity, the carnage, the plot, the script, the direction. like i said, everything.
the bad: well, just a lil complaint. that blond dude character. what a total wuss...
the ugly: the gore of course! but it is ugliness that's beautiful!
the score: 10 bubble gum chewing street kids. hehe.

the skiz.