FLICK PICKS

DONNIE DARKO

"A storm is coming, Frank says, a storm that will swallow the children."

OLDBOY

"Even though I'm no more than a monster - don't I, too, have the right to live?"

ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND

"Why do I fall in love with every woman I see who shows me the least bit of attention?"

FIGHT CLUB

"This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time."

BRAZIL

"Don't fight it son. Confess quickly! If you hold out too long you could jeopardize your credit rating."

8/28/2008

YOU DON'T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN by obi


BEWARE: SPOILERS AHEAD

An Israeli special forces agent, Zohan fakes his death to travel to America and fulfill his life-long dream to be a hairdresser. In New York, he worked for a small downtown salon located on a Middle Eastern neighborhood. There, despite his unusual success as a hair stylist because of his "extra" services, several complications troubled him which basically stems from cultural differences between the Arabs and the Jews.

What happened next in between this part of the film is fairly inconsequential as most scenes seem to appear as "extenders" to justify an hour-long screening time.

A significant part is that in the end, Zohan allies with a high-ranking Palestinian terrorist (his own ex-nemesis, Phantom) to thwart some rednecks' plan to frame the Jews and the Arabs against themselves. Their alliance heralds the story's resolution which basically comprise of Zohan being able to setup his own salon with his new Palestinian wife and his folks finally approving him of leaving the military service to pursue hairdressing.

The verdict:
Brainless hillarity. It's typical Adam Sandler-fun with much zaniness and slapstick antics. It has several frivolous scenes and it seems that a lot of unnecessary stills are forced into the movie for it to have a sense of a story or maybe to further lengthen it and have extra airtime for more comedy... be it funny or, for most of the part, not. In spite of it, I have to admit that I had a few good laughs for the jokes' sheer dumbness especially when Zohan does his gesture of goodbye. He pats his chest dignifiedly then his uber-crotch.

...on the casts,
As said earlier, it's a typical Adam Sandler over-the-top goofy acting reminiscent of "Waterboy" and "The Wedding Singer" performances. This time, he put himself on another ridiculous role where, no matter how predictable his silliness can be, he can still pull it off and make people laugh. He oddly sounds and, sometimes, act like Borat in the film though.

I'm not familiar with Emanuelle Chriqui, the lady who played as the owner of the salon where Zohan part-timed as a hairdresser, but her credential is fairly extensive. Still, her role doesn't have much challenge and she just acted appropriately. Rob Schneider is equally silly as Sandler. Although I'm leaning towards appreciating his acting skills in this film more than Sandler's in that when you look at it, you can feel that there's more effort and "mind" put into the role. John Turturro (the Phantom) looks overacting. I dunno if that's the design for his character.

...on the story,
The humor behind the story mostly borders on racial stereotyping. If this is not your type of laugh, the movie will sure bore you. The plot is satirical in a "deposit your brains by the entrance to the movie house" kind of way. It's done for outright fun (although you have to stoop down to the filthiest meaning of it) so overanalyzing the film contents is just NOT worth it.

It wants to nudge the political concern of the Arab-Israeli conflict but the use of such brainless hillarity as a medium will not deliver the point as intended. Take it as this: they set their viewers to NOT THINK deeply of the movie by doing mindless humors then want them to UNDERSTAND a serious political message conveyed in it.

...on everything else,
I can't get the Mariah Carey obsession and it even get worse with her appearance. Eh?? I dunno if the Zohan got a BAM-BAM-BOOM from the singer for this much lame promotion.

In the movie, when a scene is funny, it totally is. But the rest (which constitutes most of the airtime) are either disgusting or uninteresting. Watch this if you have nothing to do in a mall, waiting for your folks to finish in the grocery or your car to get fixed. But to allot time just to see it? Forget it.

8/17/2008

P. S. I LOVE YOU by jeeanfoxy


ok, before you snare at what you just read, let me just say that the title doesn't give justice to the movie. it isn't as cheesy as you think. or maybe that's just me. it's a chick flick for cryin out loud! but i do think guys could get something out of this. you don't have rocks for hearts, do you guys? *smug*

"A young widow discovers that her late husband has left her 10 messages intended to help ease her pain and start a new life."

starring:
Hilary Swank
Gerard Butler ( fyi, he's King Leonidas, bitches! )
Lisa Kudrow
Kathy Bates


my cousin meggy came home today and as a bonding moment we watched this movie in her room.

so here's the deal, let's cut the crap.

i'm impressed. the dialogues were long but nonetheless entertaining. the story is somewhat different from the rest of the chick flicks i've seen and it kept me guessing what was gonna be the resolution. lovezit. it was a little dragging though, a bit confusing at times (i always needed to tell the flashbacks and the imagination apart) but the context was intense, romantic, realistic, heavy, but it never failed to give me the good ol' "awwwww...". it was drama with a pint of comedy and just the right mix of love.

and goddamit those filming locations are superb!!!
( if it's CGI, then wtf, i don't care. )

here are some of my favorite lines.

Gerry Kennedy/Gerard Butler:
Dear Holly, I don't have much time. I don't mean literally, I mean you're out buying ice cream and you'll be home soon. But I have a feeling this is the last letter, because there is only one thing left to tell you. It isn't to go down memory lane or make you buy a lamp, you can take care of yourself without any help from me. It's to tell you how much you move me, how you changed me. You made me a man, by loving me Holly. And for that, I am eternally grateful... literally. If you can promise me anything, promise me that whenever you're sad, or unsure, or you lose complete faith, that you'll try to see yourself through my eyes. Thank you for the honor of being my wife. I'm a man with no regrets. How lucky am I. You made my life, Holly. But I'm just one chapter in yours. There'll be more. I promise. So here it comes, the big one. Don't be afraid to fall in love again. Watch out for that signal, when life as you know it ends. P.S. I will always love you

Holly Kennedy/Hilary Swank:
[crying] When daddy left, I was fourteen, and I said... never again, no man. And then I meet Gerry. This wonderful man happens to me and then, and then, and then he died! What was the point? I'm so angry I could kill somebody. I'm alone, and it doesn't matter what job I have or what I do or what I don't do or what friends I have, he's not here. I mean you're alone no matter what.

Holly Kennedy/Hilary Swank:
Dear Gerry, you said you wanted me to fall in love again, and maybe one day I will. But there are all kinds of love out there. This is my one and only life, And its a great and terrible and short and endless thing, and none of us come out of it alive. I don't have a plan... except, it's time my mom laughed again. She has never seen the world... she has never seen Ireland. So, I'm taking her back where we started... Maybe now she'll understand. I don't know how you did it, but you brought me back from the dead. I'll write to you again soon. P.S... Guess what?


Jeeanfoxy:
Love is forever. It's a blackhole that's hard to get out of. You can turn into shreds or just disappear. But the weird thing about it is we love the feeling of not being able to get out. Love conquers our being. It unleashes our inner selves and our truest needs and wants. And if we die in this black hole confused, in denial, and alone, the important thing is we had the chance to experience all the risks, the falls, and the renaissance, and we regret no more. It is the reality that we're all afraid of. Why? Because once again, we know, we can't get out of it. There's no stopping it. It sucks you in and drains you of your strength. It drained me. It did. It still does. But to my surprise, the pain it causes me gives me happiness because the pain always ends, and the pleasure afterwards seems better. You and I have entered into the world of uncertainty and moments tainted with sinful thoughts and inescapable agony, fear and hope, but still, love is there, and suddenly the ocean breeze whispers, "I'm wind. I can be stronger, I can be a storm, but I'm still me, and you're still together. And then I disappear, and you realize that you're in each others' arms, closer than ever, your everlasting warmth keeping you alive."

That warmth, is nothing else, but love.
And I'm keeping it.

I'm alive. Love keeps me breathing.

xoxo
Jeean

ps.
I love you.


*yes. the cinemafia is open for chick flick reviews as well, as long as they're as good as this. -don skizzo

8/13/2008

THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR by obi


SPOILERS AHEAD!

The spoiler:
The O'Connell's are back from retirement as they are tasked to bring an artifact (The Eye of Shangri-La) in China. Along with it, their son Alex discovers the tomb of a cursed Emperor of Qin and later on accidentally free it from its millenium-long stasis. With backup from radical Chinese militants, the Dragon Emperor schemes to conquer the world with his terra cotta army but first, he has to consolidate his powers by bathing at the pool of Immortality. This being guarded by the same witch that cursed him and his army.

The Qin Emperor later on succeeds and he is transformed into a shapeshifting megalomaniac. With the ragtag band composed of the O'Connell's, old pals Jonathan and Mad Dog, the witch and her cute daughter, and a bunch of comic Yetis, they hunt down the Qin Emperor and thwart his evil plan armed with the only blade that can send him back to Death.

Of course, we all know that they'll win.

The verdict:
I watched the film half-knowing that it'll suck. I've seen its previews and sans the fact that hot-mom Rachel Weisz will not reprise her role as Evie, it's still plain to see from it that the production team is overdoing something and the casts are otherwise cashing in badly.

...on the casts,
I can't see the flare of the prequel Rick (Brendan Fraser) and Evie (formerly Rachel Weisz) on this movie and it owed much to the lackluster portrayal of the new Evelyn O'Connor (Maria Bello... who is she anyway?). Brendan's output lacks the dashing appeal he showed on the first two films and this is matched by the equally flat performance by Luke Ford who played the grown up Alex O'Connor. Repeating his role as the feisty Jonathan Carnahan, John Hannah is a comic relief to the entire boring casts. Michelle Yeoh (the witch, Zi Juan) and Jet Li (Dragong Emperor Han) could have acted better but they are underexposed on the screenplay, the latter being a CG monster on almost half of his screen outing. Argh. Have to be partial for Isabella Leong (Zi Juan's daughter, Lin). I watched the film just for her. She's cute and I just can't resist chinky chicks. She did her stunts well but her emotions are mismatched.

...on the story,
It's a typical "Mummy" film. The entire franchise is based on a formula plot: Chief Evil Mummy goes alive, Chief Evil Mummy raises army, Rick's Gang musters own army, Rick's Gang's Army on the verge of being defeated by Chief Evil Mummy's army, Rick's Gang defeats Chief Evil Mummy back to wherever-land, Rick's Gang's Army saved... and so is the world!

It's just a consolation that the story setting interests me (Imperial China) but you should not expect much of a twist on the storyline. The plot has been very outright from the start of the film and you'll gonna have a near-prescient guess of how the story will go. An unexpected surprise comes from the appearance of the Yeti pack that although stirred in some good laugh, sealed my conviction that this movie's going to be corny. They're just unnecessary and even made the storyline even more sooo dragging.

CGI works is mediocre in quality but the overdone presence of the computer generated monstrosities made it look that they're there just for the sake of having beasts on the film. I've always liked the "Mummy" concept but they should have stick with a more realistic approach on the story. Making it exaggeratedly fantastic by forcing in elaborate CG beast-works is a show off that din't do any justice for the "Mummy" plot in general.

...on the fight scenes,
I rarely scrutinize much on this part of movies since as long as they are visually swashbuckling, they are good to me. However, just for the lack of any good reasons to look forward to in this movie (except again that pretty Chinese girl, Lin), they did considerably good battle scenes in fairness. I always looked forward to this scenes on the Mummy-series where both good and evil armies clashed on an open battlefield. The complexity of generating two massive armies clashing leaves me in awe and this film din't disappoint me on that aspect.

The Michelle Yeoh versus Jet Li duel is lacking in intensity.

...on everything else,
I missed Rachel Weisz because of this movie. I can imagine several Evie scenes that could have been more effective if she's the one delivering it. She has this sense of composure and sophistication that Maria Bello just can't assume. The spunky Evelyn O'Connor role became just a meer plain woman on this sequel. I can't blame Rachel for turning down the role upon looking at the screenplay (yes, it's the rumour).

Watch it for the underexposed Michelle Yeoh and Jet Li but take a good nap on the rest of the film.

I was convincing myself for a 6 of 10 rating (even 7, after watching it!) just because of Jet Li, Michelle Yeoh, the army battle scene, Lin, and the pretty Chinese army Lieutenant. But the general blandness of the entire production deserves a 4 out of 10.

And I know I'm still being kind.