BOLT by jaiskizzy

the gist: bolt is the dog superstar of a tv show, the success of which is built upon the fact that the dog believes everything is real. bolt's person is a girl named penny and he is highly devoted to protecting her. when he is accidentally shipped to new york following an episode cliffhanger of penny being kidnapped by their arch-nemesis dr. calico, the green-eyed man, bolt travels across the states to save her, picking up a sardonic alley cat named mittens and his number one hamster-in-ball fan named rhino along the way. can disney make a great cgi movie without using pixar powers?

well, looks like they can, folks. not all cgi films are rendered equal. many have tried to top the home of luxo jr. the jumping lamp, but most have failed (shark tale, robots, the shrek sequels), only cashing in on the darn kids who'd throw tantrums just watch them. the throne still belongs to pixar but disney was able to deliver a 3d animated film almost at par with their sibling company's brainchildren. almost because, it has quality and great story, the characters are cute and memorable, but it's a traditional disney yarn for the family just woven in glorious cgi. it's exactly what you would expect from a disney movie. not that it's a bad thing per se, i like most of disney's stuff, it just doesn't break the old mold. the moment you enter a screening of a cookie-cutter disney flick, you know that there'll be tearjerking and heartstring pulling, that everything's safe for kids to see and that it's gonna end happy no matter how dire the situation would get. so, yeah, no old yeller ending here.

i really liked the character designs. im always for uniqueness. they're pretty simple--white dog, black cat, furry hamster--and yet they bear no resemblance to anything done before. i dont know, but i just found it cute the first time rhino releases himself from his plastic ball. my favorite though were the pigeons with various accents. they oughta have a spinoff movie. anyways, also, the singularity of the characters owes partly to the voice talents, i guess. john travolta as the voice of the heroic hound was glove. also, i've always been fond of the way the animators incorporate the celebrities voice actors' features to the their animated counterparts and in this case, bolt had john travolta's mouth. cant say the similar to the cat and the hamster because i have no freakin idea who voiced them. mittens kinda sounded like zoeey deschanel but older. whoever did rhino did great in capturing the orgasmic glee of a fan thrust into a once-in-a-lifetime dream adventure.

this film reminds me a lot of an old tv movie entitled c.h.o.m.p.s., about a robot dog (anyone else seen that?!). always liked it when the guy opens up the dog to check the stuff inside. anyways, like a lot of the good stuff from days of long ago, it should never be raped(remade). just watch bolt. and its sure-as-pups eventual sequel.


the good: story, characters
the bad: predictability
the ugly: that penny was voice by bucktooth cyrus
the verdict: 8 sicilian pigeons


dr. calicot, the green-minded man.

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MADAGASCAR 2: ESCAPE TO AFRICA by jeeanfoxy

it was a battle between James Bond and Alex the Lion. the latter won and the decision was made. it was madagascar day today.

oh boy, do i regret it.

my ass was practically bouncing up and down my chair when ferb called to say we were going to watch madagascar 2. well i saw the movie trailer a week ago i swore to myself that i will watch this movie as soon as i get the chance. ferb knew how much i wanted to see it so he invited me to a movie date on the first day of screening (today, 11-7-08). he meant well, but the movie itself disappointed me.

it disappointed me.

the movie takes place immediately after the ending of the previous installment so you can expect that the beginning was rushed and the rest of it dragged. the comedy was cliche and the usual slapstick antics brought in the yawns. there were too many dull moments and in every one, all i could think of was "where are the penguins? penguins! more penguins, goshdarnit!" sadly, it was only the penguins that kept me awake.

has it ever happened to you that while watching a movie, you can easily point out where the story shifts chapters? like for example, it's happy singing dancing lollygagging time, and the next thing you know, the characters are fighting and suddenly turn emo. well you can find many scenes like that in this one. it's like manic-depressive chaos.

or maybe i just expected too much out of it?

i might be ranting too much about an animated movie supposedly made to satisfy the expectations of children, but it's a FAMILY MOVIE, and family movies are supposed to hit the mark for adults as well. madagascar 2 didn't do much for me.

here's another thing that bothered me: the Lion King flashbacks. i had them while watching this. there were too many details close to the lion king that only a kid who watched the original lion king movies would understand. maybe the creators were too lazy to make up a more interesting and original storyline took inspiration from that, perhaps?

madagascar 2's animated animals sure know how to move it. they had their chance in the first one and now in the second one. they're just made to be party-happy i guess, so be it. but then here's madagascar 3 in the works right now and i don't think another serving of dancing lemurs and bipolar animals would be necessary. could someone in the creative team take that story board to the atlantic ocean and let it float away to africa? thank you.

oh my God. the movie is so bad i forgot about the weight of moral fiber.

i've lost my faith in alex, gloria, melman, marty, the annoying lemurs, and even my beloved flightless penguins. they gotta prove me wrong in 2011.

THOUGHT:
a star studded cast doesn't always mean it's a good movie, especially if things aren't executed right.

xoxo
JEEAN

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TETSUO by angel

". . . I enjoy being raped by the machine but at the same time I want to destroy the things that are invading me, the human being."

——Shinya Tsukamoto

Completely insane, unpleasant, visually stimulating oddities and bizarre as hell - TETSUO is a high speed surreal chase that Shinya Tsukamoto pulls off Hollywood mediocrity, he created a film that's both accessible and also capable of showing you things you've never seen before.

The movie begins in an abandoned factory where the metal fetishist is hit by a car driven by a businessman with his girlfriend then dumped the victim into the woods then escaped. The next day starts the telepathic bond between them and the radical grotesque body transformation into a pile of metal junk. Watch out for the disturbing yet funny "erotic" scenes though, it is hard to watch depending on how dark your humor is but still, I’m inclined to laugh don't ask why :P

My only complaints would be Tsukamoto's complete lack in-depth characterization and confusing plot that went on unfortunate directions that makes me scratch me empty head, but in the end, it's primarily a brain teaser, obtuse and makes you squirm.

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MIRRORS by jaiskizzy

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THE RUINS by jaiskizzy

the gist: two couples are enticed by a german dude to spend the last day of their mexican vacation gawking at the ruins of a mayan temple hidden in the jungle. as soon as they arrive at the site, they get a warm welcome from the locals: their greek companion takes an arrow to the shoulder and a bullet to the head. the terrified tourists are forced to climb the hill-like structure where a far worse enemy lurks, thirsting for their blood. dum-dum-dum!

word of advice, travellers: if you're going on a trip to a place where you've never been before and you're not familiar with the people, especially if it's jungle, do not watch this movie before the trip. really, it will murder your plans. it's been years since ive been into one, the taal volcano trek of doom, and i dont think i'd have agreed to it if i saw this movie beforehand. going off the beaten track into precarious terrain with gun-toting strangers? i'd be like, no, thanks, i'd like to keep the skin on my legs. anyways, this is a pretty fucked-up movie that'll will surely make non-outdoors people stay under their rocks and it's pretty hard to say anything about it without giving spoilers. mum's the word on the movie's antagonist...

(drumming fingers on desk) okay. so, this is kinda like hostel, foreigners experiencing the ultimate culture shock, except there's no machines or tools of gruesome death. well, there's a pulley but it's meant only to transport people in and out of the hill/temple. that place has got some nifty interiors, btw. gore fans (like me) will not be disappointed though, thanks to the leader dude who puts his med school knowledge to good, gory use. i find it a bit amusing though that this movie is basically about survival and the leader dude named jeff looked and was dressed like jeff probst, the host of survivor.

no scares, just nice tension between the characters and the proper amount of cringe-inducing gore, no celebs, except maybe for iceman who tried to disguise himself with an afro-ish haircut and beard, and also didnt use his super cool powers to defeat the enemy. there was a little t&a in the beginning, but it wasnt the cute chick with the glasses. i do think they could have made a better ending by solving the "problem" and then reveal that there's just a similar but bigger "problem" that exists a few blocks away. plus, you cant let those murderous mexicans just get away with their shit.

based on a book which i havent read, the ruins is a good little thriller sans a serial killer. not a horror movie per se, but it delivers in areas a lot of the recent fright flicks failed to. i suddenly remembered that weird scene from evil dead...

the good: tension, gore, story.
the bad: slow start.
the ugly: i squirmed when jeff made cuts to stacy's body to get the [spoiler] out.
the verdict: 7 phone rings.


the ruined.

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YOU DON'T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN by obi

BEWARE: SPOILERS AHEAD

An Israeli special forces agent, Zohan fakes his death to travel to America and fulfill his life-long dream to be a hairdresser. In New York, he worked for a small downtown salon located on a Middle Eastern neighborhood. There, despite his unusual success as a hair stylist because of his "extra" services, several complications troubled him which basically stems from cultural differences between the Arabs and the Jews.

What happened next in between this part of the film is fairly inconsequential as most scenes seem to appear as "extenders" to justify an hour-long screening time.

A significant part is that in the end, Zohan allies with a high-ranking Palestinian terrorist (his own ex-nemesis, Phantom) to thwart some rednecks' plan to frame the Jews and the Arabs against themselves. Their alliance heralds the story's resolution which basically comprise of Zohan being able to setup his own salon with his new Palestinian wife and his folks finally approving him of leaving the military service to pursue hairdressing.

The verdict:
Brainless hillarity. It's typical Adam Sandler-fun with much zaniness and slapstick antics. It has several frivolous scenes and it seems that a lot of unnecessary stills are forced into the movie for it to have a sense of a story or maybe to further lengthen it and have extra airtime for more comedy... be it funny or, for most of the part, not. In spite of it, I have to admit that I had a few good laughs for the jokes' sheer dumbness especially when Zohan does his gesture of goodbye. He pats his chest dignifiedly then his uber-crotch.

...on the casts,
As said earlier, it's a typical Adam Sandler over-the-top goofy acting reminiscent of "Waterboy" and "The Wedding Singer" performances. This time, he put himself on another ridiculous role where, no matter how predictable his silliness can be, he can still pull it off and make people laugh. He oddly sounds and, sometimes, act like Borat in the film though.

I'm not familiar with Emanuelle Chriqui, the lady who played as the owner of the salon where Zohan part-timed as a hairdresser, but her credential is fairly extensive. Still, her role doesn't have much challenge and she just acted appropriately. Rob Schneider is equally silly as Sandler. Although I'm leaning towards appreciating his acting skills in this film more than Sandler's in that when you look at it, you can feel that there's more effort and "mind" put into the role. John Turturro (the Phantom) looks overacting. I dunno if that's the design for his character.

...on the story,
The humor behind the story mostly borders on racial stereotyping. If this is not your type of laugh, the movie will sure bore you. The plot is satirical in a "deposit your brains by the entrance to the movie house" kind of way. It's done for outright fun (although you have to stoop down to the filthiest meaning of it) so overanalyzing the film contents is just NOT worth it.

It wants to nudge the political concern of the Arab-Israeli conflict but the use of such brainless hillarity as a medium will not deliver the point as intended. Take it as this: they set their viewers to NOT THINK deeply of the movie by doing mindless humors then want them to UNDERSTAND a serious political message conveyed in it.

...on everything else,
I can't get the Mariah Carey obsession and it even get worse with her appearance. Eh?? I dunno if the Zohan got a BAM-BAM-BOOM from the singer for this much lame promotion.

In the movie, when a scene is funny, it totally is. But the rest (which constitutes most of the airtime) are either disgusting or uninteresting. Watch this if you have nothing to do in a mall, waiting for your folks to finish in the grocery or your car to get fixed. But to allot time just to see it? Forget it.

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P. S. I LOVE YOU by jeeanfoxy

ok, before you snare at what you just read, let me just say that the title doesn't give justice to the movie. it isn't as cheesy as you think. or maybe that's just me. it's a chick flick for cryin out loud! but i do think guys could get something out of this. you don't have rocks for hearts, do you guys? *smug*

"A young widow discovers that her late husband has left her 10 messages intended to help ease her pain and start a new life."

starring:
Hilary Swank
Gerard Butler ( fyi, he's King Leonidas, bitches! )
Lisa Kudrow
Kathy Bates

my cousin meggy came home today and as a bonding moment we watched this movie in her room.

so here's the deal, let's cut the crap.

i'm impressed. the dialogues were long but nonetheless entertaining. the story is somewhat different from the rest of the chick flicks i've seen and it kept me guessing what was gonna be the resolution. lovezit. it was a little dragging though, a bit confusing at times (i always needed to tell the flashbacks and the imagination apart) but the context was intense, romantic, realistic, heavy, but it never failed to give me the good ol' "awwwww...". it was drama with a pint of comedy and just the right mix of love.

and goddamit those filming locations are superb!!!
( if it's CGI, then wtf, i don't care. )

here are some of my favorite lines.

Gerry Kennedy/Gerard Butler:
Dear Holly, I don't have much time. I don't mean literally, I mean you're out buying ice cream and you'll be home soon. But I have a feeling this is the last letter, because there is only one thing left to tell you. It isn't to go down memory lane or make you buy a lamp, you can take care of yourself without any help from me. It's to tell you how much you move me, how you changed me. You made me a man, by loving me Holly. And for that, I am eternally grateful... literally. If you can promise me anything, promise me that whenever you're sad, or unsure, or you lose complete faith, that you'll try to see yourself through my eyes. Thank you for the honor of being my wife. I'm a man with no regrets. How lucky am I. You made my life, Holly. But I'm just one chapter in yours. There'll be more. I promise. So here it comes, the big one. Don't be afraid to fall in love again. Watch out for that signal, when life as you know it ends. P.S. I will always love you

Holly Kennedy/Hilary Swank:
[crying] When daddy left, I was fourteen, and I said... never again, no man. And then I meet Gerry. This wonderful man happens to me and then, and then, and then he died! What was the point? I'm so angry I could kill somebody. I'm alone, and it doesn't matter what job I have or what I do or what I don't do or what friends I have, he's not here. I mean you're alone no matter what.

Holly Kennedy/Hilary Swank:
Dear Gerry, you said you wanted me to fall in love again, and maybe one day I will. But there are all kinds of love out there. This is my one and only life, And its a great and terrible and short and endless thing, and none of us come out of it alive. I don't have a plan... except, it's time my mom laughed again. She has never seen the world... she has never seen Ireland. So, I'm taking her back where we started... Maybe now she'll understand. I don't know how you did it, but you brought me back from the dead. I'll write to you again soon. P.S... Guess what?


Jeeanfoxy:
Love is forever. It's a blackhole that's hard to get out of. You can turn into shreds or just disappear. But the weird thing about it is we love the feeling of not being able to get out. Love conquers our being. It unleashes our inner selves and our truest needs and wants. And if we die in this black hole confused, in denial, and alone, the important thing is we had the chance to experience all the risks, the falls, and the renaissance, and we regret no more. It is the reality that we're all afraid of. Why? Because once again, we know, we can't get out of it. There's no stopping it. It sucks you in and drains you of your strength. It drained me. It did. It still does. But to my surprise, the pain it causes me gives me happiness because the pain always ends, and the pleasure afterwards seems better. You and I have entered into the world of uncertainty and moments tainted with sinful thoughts and inescapable agony, fear and hope, but still, love is there, and suddenly the ocean breeze whispers, "I'm wind. I can be stronger, I can be a storm, but I'm still me, and you're still together. And then I disappear, and you realize that you're in each others' arms, closer than ever, your everlasting warmth keeping you alive."

That warmth, is nothing else, but love.
And I'm keeping it.

I'm alive. Love keeps me breathing.

xoxo
Jeean

ps.
I love you.


*yes. the cinemafia is open for chick flick reviews as well, as long as they're as good as this. -don skizzo

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THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR by obi

SPOILERS AHEAD!

The spoiler:
The O'Connell's are back from retirement as they are tasked to bring an artifact (The Eye of Shangri-La) in China. Along with it, their son Alex discovers the tomb of a cursed Emperor of Qin and later on accidentally free it from its millenium-long stasis. With backup from radical Chinese militants, the Dragon Emperor schemes to conquer the world with his terra cotta army but first, he has to consolidate his powers by bathing at the pool of Immortality. This being guarded by the same witch that cursed him and his army.

The Qin Emperor later on succeeds and he is transformed into a shapeshifting megalomaniac. With the ragtag band composed of the O'Connell's, old pals Jonathan and Mad Dog, the witch and her cute daughter, and a bunch of comic Yetis, they hunt down the Qin Emperor and thwart his evil plan armed with the only blade that can send him back to Death.

Of course, we all know that they'll win.

The verdict:
I watched the film half-knowing that it'll suck. I've seen its previews and sans the fact that hot-mom Rachel Weisz will not reprise her role as Evie, it's still plain to see from it that the production team is overdoing something and the casts are otherwise cashing in badly.

...on the casts,
I can't see the flare of the prequel Rick (Brendan Fraser) and Evie (formerly Rachel Weisz) on this movie and it owed much to the lackluster portrayal of the new Evelyn O'Connor (Maria Bello... who is she anyway?). Brendan's output lacks the dashing appeal he showed on the first two films and this is matched by the equally flat performance by Luke Ford who played the grown up Alex O'Connor. Repeating his role as the feisty Jonathan Carnahan, John Hannah is a comic relief to the entire boring casts. Michelle Yeoh (the witch, Zi Juan) and Jet Li (Dragong Emperor Han) could have acted better but they are underexposed on the screenplay, the latter being a CG monster on almost half of his screen outing. Argh. Have to be partial for Isabella Leong (Zi Juan's daughter, Lin). I watched the film just for her. She's cute and I just can't resist chinky chicks. She did her stunts well but her emotions are mismatched.

...on the story,
It's a typical "Mummy" film. The entire franchise is based on a formula plot: Chief Evil Mummy goes alive, Chief Evil Mummy raises army, Rick's Gang musters own army, Rick's Gang's Army on the verge of being defeated by Chief Evil Mummy's army, Rick's Gang defeats Chief Evil Mummy back to wherever-land, Rick's Gang's Army saved... and so is the world!

It's just a consolation that the story setting interests me (Imperial China) but you should not expect much of a twist on the storyline. The plot has been very outright from the start of the film and you'll gonna have a near-prescient guess of how the story will go. An unexpected surprise comes from the appearance of the Yeti pack that although stirred in some good laugh, sealed my conviction that this movie's going to be corny. They're just unnecessary and even made the storyline even more sooo dragging.

CGI works is mediocre in quality but the overdone presence of the computer generated monstrosities made it look that they're there just for the sake of having beasts on the film. I've always liked the "Mummy" concept but they should have stick with a more realistic approach on the story. Making it exaggeratedly fantastic by forcing in elaborate CG beast-works is a show off that din't do any justice for the "Mummy" plot in general.

...on the fight scenes,
I rarely scrutinize much on this part of movies since as long as they are visually swashbuckling, they are good to me. However, just for the lack of any good reasons to look forward to in this movie (except again that pretty Chinese girl, Lin), they did considerably good battle scenes in fairness. I always looked forward to this scenes on the Mummy-series where both good and evil armies clashed on an open battlefield. The complexity of generating two massive armies clashing leaves me in awe and this film din't disappoint me on that aspect.

The Michelle Yeoh versus Jet Li duel is lacking in intensity.

...on everything else,
I missed Rachel Weisz because of this movie. I can imagine several Evie scenes that could have been more effective if she's the one delivering it. She has this sense of composure and sophistication that Maria Bello just can't assume. The spunky Evelyn O'Connor role became just a meer plain woman on this sequel. I can't blame Rachel for turning down the role upon looking at the screenplay (yes, it's the rumour).

Watch it for the underexposed Michelle Yeoh and Jet Li but take a good nap on the rest of the film.

I was convincing myself for a 6 of 10 rating (even 7, after watching it!) just because of Jet Li, Michelle Yeoh, the army battle scene, Lin, and the pretty Chinese army Lieutenant. But the general blandness of the entire production deserves a 4 out of 10.

And I know I'm still being kind.

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THE DARK KNIGHT by jaiskizzy

"slaughter is the best medicine"

the gist: ever since batman began, gotham city's crime rate is on a dwindle with evildoers rainchecking their evildoings at the sight of the bat signal and mobsters holding their prayer meetings during the day. and with the people's paladin, harvey dent, on his side, future-commissioner gordon can't help but wear a happy smile under his 'stache. as the batman disposes of his posers (instead of posting bulletins on friendster), some nutjob who flunked cosmetic school and chose a career in carnage intrudes and offers his insights for a better gotham. for a guy named joker, he ain't funny at all.

i've always thought that tim burton's vision of batman was ok. eventhough it looked like batman might start singing and pirouetting any moment, the first two films were dark and gothic and i liked it. then came joel schumacher who gayified the franchise by adding colors like pink, corny oneliners and bat nipples (but not on batgirl). for that, he will never be forgiven. so, thank holy heavens for christopher nolan for putting the man back in batman and bringing him into the real world. great director. memento remains one of my favorite films ever. this dude is like a hollywood jesus who took the diseased caped crusader and cured him. batman begins was just a taste of what he could do with the material. with the origin story done with, he could take the bat wherever he wanted and he took the dark knight to masterpiece territory. his directorial decisions were perfect, turning the movie into more of a noir crime film than a flashy superhero movie, with great characters, pacing, action, tension, drama, dialogue, all in one two-hour short presentation. and there's no dragging, tearjerker funeral for the death of a major character. i like that. forget not, of course, his bro, jonathan, a huge part of the genius of nolan's movies for his amazing screenwriting powers. darn these nolans.

i'll strike the below-zero first because there's only one and it goes by the name of maggie gyllenhaal. she's a fine actress, yes, liked her in secretary, but she just failed to be rachel dawes, a character invented for the franchise to replace vicki vale. she just destroyed any possibility of ms. dawes being added into the batman comic canon. she's not ugly, but compared to mrs. cruise, she is. it's an olive oyl syndrome. watching her be torn between bruce wayne and harvey dent was like watching popeye and bluto fight over that ugly bitch. you just don't get why. maybe she gives good head? i dont know. but anyways...

christian bale is an amazing bruce wayne. he's a good batman, but i've always believed michael keaton played the dichotomy better. bale's lips looked weird when he spake as batman. dont know if it's supposed to be an effect of the voice enhancer but it seemed like had too much love for lip readers. the costume looks fine btw. finally solved that head-turning issue. anyways, who the heck is aaron eckhart? give this guy a medal. what a great harvey dent he was, especially when he became two-face. give another medal to the guy who made two-face's gross half like that. that shit is nasty. i had flashbacks of skinned goats hanging in the kitchen during fiesta in my grandparents' house. awesome. the perfect casting of gary oldman as jim gordon is proven even more in this sequel, as he isnt a minor character anymore. do you know the name of the fat dude in the other batman movies? no? me neither. anyways, there's this scene where batman, gordon and dent are forging an alliance on the bat signal rooftop which is lifted directly from the long halloween and that was just amazing.

now, the late heath ledger as joker... first, great that the joker doesnt have an origin. in the comics, the joker is so insane that he himself can't tell which past in his mind is real (he prefers multiple choice, the killing joke). that concept was realized nicely in the movie, with joker telling different stories on how he got his ichi-the-killer inspired scars. anyways, back to heath. just about every superlative and hyperbole has been used on his performance and it deserves every one of them. unlike batman who gets to be bruce wayne/christian bale, he was in joker makeup almost the whole time because he was not heath ledger anymore. he was just the joker. every flick of his tongue and roll of his eye, every fidget and every word he says, topnotch. i still hold firm that mark hamill did the definitive joker voice but heath ledger is joker in the flesh. that is one hard portrayal to match, let alone beat, if they ever decide to make a part three and bring the clown prince of crime back. if they do, i nominate either javier bardem or joseph gordon-levitt (just because he looks like heath). put harley quinn in and i'll buy a ticket right now.

no surprise that the dark knight is kicking ass outside of the movie world, breaking box office records like bones. the film is so great it has been lined up with the classics heat and the godfather 2. i couldn't agree more. the dark knight blew me away more than all of my exgfs did.


the good: the whole movie except...
the bad: maggie gyllenhaal.
the ugly: ditto.
the verdict: 10 disappearing pencils.


the dork knight.
(or the choker. this review is for my harley quinn.)

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THE DARK KNIGHT by jeeanfoxy

so what if it's another batman movie? its the best one yet!

things get more comic-y this time around, unlike in Batman Begins where the darkness and dragging storyline consumed me more than the good parts did. in the first one i kept thinking "o tapos? ano ngayon? so? ang tagal! flashback na naman? ano ba tlg?" ...and needless to say batman's props looked like crap. boo.

the dark knight presented a totally different perspective of what a batman movie should be. it was obviously done excellently from start to finish, and i bet even the split-second scenes took time to get right. the car chases were a bit dizzying but satisfying nonetheless. and here's a big plus: the hunky christian bale in his upgraded batman getup loaded with way cooler gadgets that will keep your head spinning all thoughout the movie.

and here go the minuses. (1) a very un-lengthy exposure of a villain (no, not the Joker). (2) maggie gyllenhaal's fugliness kept me distracted and detached from her Rachel Daws character. miscast. bigtime. and um... (3) batman isn't a hero? o.O

and now we come to Heath Andrew. Heath "Sayang ka bakit ka namatay" Andrew Ledger. his performace deserves an Oscar, no doubt about it. no one else could have played the role of The Joker better. heathie, may you rest in peace, drug-free.

the dark knight kept me at the edge of my seat. i'm the type of person who gets bored quite easily, but with TDK, i had my eyes glued to the screen from start to finish. the movie was quite long but it didn't fuckin matter...! the dark knight rules. boom. box office.

watch it, you low lives. here's my analogy: for the girls, it's better than chocolates and flowers on top of a box filled with havaianas. for the guys, it's better than your favorite porn.

xoxo
JeeanHatesMaggieGyllenhaal

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THE DARK KNIGHT by obi

Spoiler Alert! Spoiler Alert! Spoiler Alert!

The Spoiler:
Organized crime still plagues the city of Gotham. A triumvirate is formed between the police (Lt. Gordon), the law (District Attorney Dent), and Batman to spearhead the rounding up of criminal gangs in the city. Enter the psycho villain, Joker. While the streets of Gotham are being swept of malfeasance, the Joker consolidates his own mob and created havoc and confusion among the populace.

The trio deviced a plan and successfully captured the "clown" but a series of devious schemes turned the table against the good guys. Joker escapes and continues his terror. With several key persons dead along his wake, one of the most critical loss is Rachel Dawes, Harvey Dent's girl. This, and Harvey's nasty facial injury, culminates his jump to the dark side as the coin-flipping villain, Two Face.

Two Face hunts the then promoted Commissioner Gordon for revenge while the Joker rigged another terror plot. Batman, with the help of a new technology patterned after a concept by Wayne Enterprise's CEO, captures the Joker in record time and thwarts Dent's reprisal.

In the end, we will see scenes of the city's "liberation" from its dependence to Batman. But c'mon, we all know that the Bat will be back for God-knows how many more sequels. I look forward to that.

The Opinion:
I was in awe since the start of the film and not just because I look up to Batman. Bias aside, the movie is a masterpiece worthy of being elevated to timelessness.

...on the casts,
Christian Bale further seeps into the role of the Bat, hands down. As much as I would want to cling to the illusion that Michael Keaton has the best Batman portrayal, rectitude tells that it has to be Christian Bale now. Aaron Eckhart (Harvey Dent) did very well and convincing both as a good guy and a bad guy. It reminds me of the lead roles in "Face Off". Gary Oldman is just right as a younger Commissioner Gordon who is still in his prime as a hands-on crime fighter (most would remember him as the aged "office cop" from the comics). Morgan Freeman (CEO Lucius Fox) has short appearances in the film but I dig the coldness he exhibited. It's just fit for the role's stature. Michael Caine (Alfred the Butler) is an auto-include. The Alfred Pennyworth role just screams his name and I can't imagine any other candidates in his place that will give justice to it.

I have some reservations for Maggie Gyllenhaal (Rachel Dawes), though. The chemistry between her and Harvey Dent no matter how their scenes are expertly developed in terms of the script and exposure is just mediocre. I might attribute this to the brilliance of the rest of the casts who performed above expectation. Leaving the best for last, I'd want to outright stand and applause after the screening for the late Heath Ledger for a very very terrific performance (magmumuka nga lang akong tanga). Damn, that's a very radical portrayal of the Joker but it's one that I'd put my money on! One can really feel the psychosis albeit twisted genius behind the clown because of Ledger's acting. I say, it was a great redemption from the Brokeback image and a dramatic conclusion to his career. Salute!

...on the story,
Phasing is good. It's chock-full of action cuts and what's best is that they were able to fuse this with a not-so-plain storyline. I was anticipating that the plot would be just the basic "good versus evil" formula but there were twists in the film that proved me wrong. One thing to take note is the exposure laid for the Joker character. It was developed brilliantly through out the story and with help from Ledger's exceptional performance, I can go as far as saying this should be a "Joker" movie and not a Batman one... or perhaps a "Batman AND Joker" film, at the most.

I've always been a fan of the more comic-ish Batman flicks (Tim Burton's "Batman" films) since it stick with the dark Gothic theme of the cape crusader but "Dark Knight" makes me a believer of the realism version. This one is dark enough while proving that it can still be close to reality. Of course, there are obvious exaggerations of factual circumstances but nothing that din't help to make a terrific progress on the storyline.

The "Dark Knight" Batman is very human in terms of real-life predicaments and concerns. He was not portrayed as the typical carefree "I-kill-you-all" hero. I just hate it though when he do his Inday Garutay baritone to cover up his real voice. I would want to laugh my arse off in this scene where he was arguing with Commissioner Gordon. He could barely raise his voice as much as the scene requires it since he has to maintain the Inday Garutay tone. Bwehehe!

...on the Bat-gears,
I like the mobility that the new batsuit gives the wearer. By looking at how the fight scenes are done, you'll have an idea that the costume does not impede the actor to do realistic combat. One thing I'm a bit off is the mask itself. There were angles that it's just too chubby on the jaws that he looks more like an owl sans the pointy ears than a bat. It's not sleek enough but maybe it's just me.

As always, the Hummer-like batmobile is cool but the comic dude in me will not pick it over the classic long jet-black Corvette-like batmobile. There's also the batpod (bike). Great design, I say. Riders will love it and its uber-huge wheels. I want one.

...on everything else,
Visuals are good. Some CG work, great. I like this part when they blew a hospital down. It seems unnecessary but the overall impact of a huge building blowing into pieces amidst a fear-stricken population adds up to the dramatic effect.

The film is long at 2 hours and a half but it din't bore me and in fact everything seems to have just gone briefly. It'll make you wanting for more. I've been reading reviews on the web (finally, I have the luxury to do it since I've already watched the film... I was aching to read around since yesterday!) and it was the same sentiment all over. We shout part 3!!!

I can't think of capping my review by talking about Batman alone. "The Dark Knight" put Joker in a whole new iconic status of his own. You'd watch this not only for the cape crusader but the brilliance behind the clown's portrayal.

10 out of 10!

PS: Pay extra attention when Joker says he'll gonna make the pencil disappear! Hahaha! Why so serious?!

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WANTED by jaiskizzy

the gist: office pawn wesley is fed up with his life in a cubicle. he takes anti-anxiety pills to calm himself down from smashing the pc monitor into a co-worker's face. turns out that his high anxiety means something: his father who left him when he was a week old is actually one of the best assassins in town. a group of assassins called the fraternity, complete with hazing initiation, wants him to be part of their payroll. they send angelina jolie to "recruit" him, which is a great decision since it's pretty hard to say no to her. cue the bon jovi song and let the bullets fly!

i had a very similar movie plot years ago which is now worthless because it's gonna look like i ripped off wanted. boo-hoo. the moment i saw the bullets hitting each other in the trailer, i was like, there goes one of my script ideas blown to smithereens. anyways, when i heard that the director of wanted was the russian guy who directed the russian film nightwatch, i knew there was something spectacular to look forward to this movie. nightwatch and its sequel daywatch were absurd but visually cool films and the director has brought his unique style to hollywood. wanted will make you question physics while wearing a tent in your pants. and i aint even talking about angelina jolie yet. without giving anything away, you have never seen wanted's action scenes in any other action movie.

moving on to mrs. pitt. i would watch any movie with angeline jolie shooting a gun. that woman is badass. she doesnt hold a gun like a girl. i won't be surprised if she's an actual hitwoman in real life. if i were to be killed by an assassin, i would wish it was her, naked, and biting her lower lip when she pulls the trigger. james mcavoy was kind of a hit-and-miss (damned puns). him as wesley the wuss didnt work for me and felt like he was channeling shia labeouf a bit. he was good as the badass bulleteer though.

cant say the same thing about morgan freeman. he's a great actor but he just didnt belong in this movie. i think they were supposed to get samuel l. jackson but he was too busy doing motherfucker speeches in colleges so they opted for morgan instead who acted like he was still the president of the united states of america in deep impact. and since we're on the gripe train already... there were way too many slow-mos that this movie would have probably been half an hour shorter if those scenes had run at normal speed. i mean, okay, we got it the first time, to make the bullet curve, you have to shoot the gun with an arm sweep. it doesnt have to be slow-moed every single time someone does it.

i have several reasons to hate this movie (some aren't even about the movie) but overall i enjoyed the shootout show. word's out that the studios want a sequel but i cant imagine one without angelina. maybe she has a twin sister?

the good: the story, the direction and the hot chick with great lips.
the bad: james mcavoy in the first quarter, slow-mo overkill, and the predictable ending.
the ugly: morgan freeman after he says "oh, fuck."
the verdict: 7 letter-u-substitute teeth.


unwanted.

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WRISTCUTTERS: A LOVE STORY by jaiskizzy

the gist: some guy named zia decides to clean his room up and then slash his wrists with a razor. apparently, when you "off" yourself (commit suicide, yo), you end up in an afterlife world much like ours except it is so dull and everything's been slightly desaturated in photoshop. there he meets eugene who helps him search for his girlfriend, who supposedly killed herself too, and they both bump into a chick who wants to find the people in charge of that world. what a weird and cute lil movie.

i almost offed myself during my angsty years but i couldnt pull the trigger then so there's no way i can confirm if such a dimension exists for suicidals. the emo people surely would love that though. this movie however aint got no shade of emo on it at all. so, dont go owning the movie just because of the title, you sidecombed freaks. anyways, wristcutters is pretty much a journey movie where a guy and his friend hits the road on a quest of some sort and stumbles upon various stuff and people along the way. zia and the moustached dude have great non-chemistry and it's fun to watch them be friends but not really. add in the odd chick who likes to mess up with signs and you've got a trio of misfits who are and arent better off together at the same time. am i making any sense?

the dude who played zia looked familiar, i couldnt quite remember where i've seen him and am too lazy to check imdb. but he's okay, the role didnt call for anything special really. he got to kiss leslie bibb though, so he's pretty lucky. the dude who played the moustached dude though was great. i actually thought he was eugene hutz (the musician that the character was based on). the odd chick was so-so, she's not really on my list of favorite actresses and i would have liked someone beautifuler but she did fine. and then there was...will arnett?!

i'll "cut" this review short and simply say that it's a good film to watch to pass time, not when you want something to pump up your pulse rate or if you have a sibling who believes my chemical romance's music is music.

the good: the premise.
the bad: unconvincing clumsiness.
the ugly: used-condom beach.
the verdict: 6 floorboard blackholes.


templeshooter.

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